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Friday, September 28, 2012

ramblings of a deranged person



Once upon a time I wanted to be a writer. Yeah, but that was once upon a time.

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I wanted to be a writer (once upon a time) because I’ve just always thought my life is worth writing a story about. (lol, ang feeler) TSwift said that getting her heart broken is “very productive”, because she can make chart-topping hits out of it. I’ve always wanted to be productive too about feelings and emotions. You can’t always act on emotions alone, but they have to at least be poured into somewhere, don’t they?

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There are two more weeks remaining before the semester officially ends, but I can tell that my mind has already checked out. Now, how am I going to finish a thesis, a term paper, and two projects? How?!! Somebody please tell me how! I don’t curse (at least not out loud, haha!) but I really feel like going on a cursing spree right now.

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Do you ever stop and think that you’re going through some sort of a personal evolution? Like, do you ever stop and let the realization dawn on you that you’re actually changing? I have no idea what I’m talking about, honestly. I feel so weird right now. I can’t quite figure out how to put it into words. I feel like I’m only just going through that teenage phase where you’re trying to be different, and you’re trying to figure out what you want to be, and thoughts of dyeing your hair blonde goes through your head from time to time. Yes, I know, I'm way too old for that. I'm a late-bloomer. 

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Gabriella Montez said, “Do you ever feel like there’s a whole other person inside of you just looking for a way to come out?” I’ve always known I felt like that, but it’s only now that I’m realizing what kind of person that other person is, in my case. No, she’s not the kind who has hidden musical theater talents. She’s a sad, bitter person who’s, like, bitter about everything.

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I can’t stop listening to Tswift’s “Begin Again”. I am sort of ashamed of myself right now. Lol.

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I hate the feeling of starting to dislike something because it’s getting too popular and everyone’s talking about it. I hate myself for feeling that way, but I can’t help it. It’s what I’m starting to feel for Perks of being a Wallflower.

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That last one sounded a little less phony when it was just in my head.

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My grade in Histo is going to be atrocious. I just know it. Where has the time gone when I could get good grades in History by being a facts-memorizing machine?

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I am old enough to vote for next year’s elections. I repeat, I am old enough to vote for next year’s elections. I haven’t registered yet. I repeat, I haven’t registered yet!!

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Let me talk about the TV show New Girl for a while. I’ve always had mixed feelings about it. Sometimes I feel like it’s trying too hard, and that it’s trying to push Jess’ being quirky and different and weird a little too much that it appears forced. But sometimes it has its moments. I’ve just seen the new episodes and ajlsfljaglj, if they continue doing what they did in the first two episodes of this new season, I’m going to have to tune in for every new episode from now on! Dsbsadkjbkjasdbjs, Nick and Jess are too adorable. Nick’s facial expressions in the first episode are too funny. Hahaha. And that thing about the future Nick! So the future Nick told the present Nick to apologize to Jess for something that he would do to Jess. What does that mean?! I’m guessing they’re probably going to get together in the future, but Nick’s probably going to leave Jess because he’s a sad, sad fellow who’d much rather grow old to be a crazy homeless man. It's actually sort of foreshadowing something sad, but until we get there, I'm just going to enjoy the adorableness of the two. :)

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I want you to know, blog, that Nick is the character I identify with the most in that show. That tells you a lot about how I’ll end up when I’m grow up.

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Kidding.

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I am being passive-aggressive, am I not?

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I am developing a coffee addiction. Why is this happening?! I’ve always thought I was more of a tea-drinking kind of girl!

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I am developing a Nesvita addiction. My sister, who bought the Nesvita sachets for herself, has specifically ordered me not to drink them. But I did. And now I can’t stop thinking about Nesvita.

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And oh, by the way, my mother booked me a ticket for the 22nd, but my vacation starts on the 14th! Great, what will I do for a whole week here in the condo alone during the day? I am the most qualified person there is if you’re looking for someone who can stay indoors all day, for as long as forever. But I’ve made a resolution to change that! But I don’t know how that’s going to be possible if I’d have to waste one-third of my sembreak being alone in the confines of Unit 1419 for one whole week!! I know what you’re thinking. I can go out, duh, it’s not like they’re imprisoning me. But where will I go? What will I do? Sigh. Any suggestions?? :p

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