I've been held back by something

To make a mountain of your life

Is just a choice

But I never learned enough

To listen to the voice that told me

Always love, hate will get you every time

Always love, hate will get you

I've been held back by something

Yeah, You said to me quietly on the stairs,

Always Love (Nada Surf)

I’ve been feeling like I’m floating on a sea of messiness and irresponsibility. I decided to write here in hope of finding land. (My metaphors are embarrassing, I know, but just let me be. hehe) It’s already the part of the semester when things have a huge potential of driving anyone to insanity. Therefore, it’s really necessary that I stop being such a slave to the lure of escaping. (because that just makes things worse, always remember!)

The reason I’ve been feeling so lost is because a certain gadget has taken over my life! Help! I bought my sister’s iPod Touch a few weeks ago. I know it’s been weeks now, but unfortunately, the allure of its novelty has not faded yet. (But those Line stickers are so adorable, you cannot blame me!)

On a more serious note…

I went on an immersion two weeks ago. I don't know what exactly to make of the experience, but one thing’s for sure: this experience has left me with so much to ponder on. I've realized that...

- There are few things in life that are better teachers than getting out of yourself and your comfort zone especially when you really do not know how exactly to do so. 

- In my life I have come to realize that i'm not much of a curious person. I don't often ask questions. I'm submissive to the way things are. I tell myself that there naturally are absurdities and mysteries in the world that no one will find answers to. But maybe not asking questions means unwillingness to fight.

- I've also had a renewed awareness of my difficulties to trust that people are good, or that people would want to be good to me. I am amazed at how my foster family opened up their home for a stranger. I cannot grasp the idea because if I were in their position, it is certainly not something I'd be ready to do every day. 

I wish i could write a blog post that is less about my little issues in life. Attempting to do so would have to wait, though, because I have responsibilities I've been neglecting. Right now, I have some academic stuff to attend to. My thesis is still lost in a wilderness and can't find a way of getting itself done. I still don't have a clue on how I’ll be able to do what I want to do with it. I also have a paper that I’m hoping I could write really well so that I could somehow make up for not being a very good student over the past weeks. 

-V-